Thursday, July 12, 2012

Turtling

I have noticed a theme running through several of today's posts calling out folks who have "disappeared" from blogland and/or  the need/want to unfollow bloggers.

Right or wrong, I really took these personally, but I always do.  I am totally "Little Miss Guilty Conscience" like that -- I am always convinced that I am the offending party and that anonymous complaints are always aimed directly at me.

 I am totally guilty of bailing on blogland but the truth is that I am a total disaster.  My life has been turned upside down lately and I don't know if I am coming or going.  I am stuck in a holding pattern where all I can do is sit here and be stressed out, confused, and miserable.

Many of you might say, "Why don't you talk it out on your blog?" Well, honestly, because I am not ready to talk.  Because talking about something makes it real -- it puts it out into the world.  So then not only do I have to contend with my own swirl of mixed up emotions I also have to contend with the insecurity that comes from exposing my issues to others.

I also don't feel right putting my hard times out on my blog and seeking support through it when I know that right now I don't have the emotional energy to give support back to others.  I am swimming in stress and negativity and I really don't want to put that out into blogland because that doesn't do anything for anybody.

So I have become a hermit.  I have pulled my head inside my shell and I have turtled and there may or may not be lots of chips and cookies with me inside my shell.  


10 comments:

  1. I hope things get better for you AJ. Nothing worse than feeling the world is closing in on you. KNow that you have support out here. Don't lose yourself in the sadness...find your way back to the light.

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  2. I hope you will share what you are going through with someone. Facing anything in your head is always worse than when you share it and get good advice. Blogging may not work for you now, but you could at least journal first to see if that helps. Either way, I hope it all sorts out and know that we are here if you need us.

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  3. nothing wrong with that at all. we all go through rough times and we all (yes, all!) take breaks from our blogs. We're here when and if you need us. :) XX

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  4. Big hugs. You have my number...feel free to bitch, moan, cry or whine any time.

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  5. I quite agree with Amy. Blogging is not a quid pro quo thing. You take support when you need it and give it to others when you can. We cannot all be strong the whole time so we lean on each other as we need to. If you want to share, please do. We shall listen and help as best we can but please don't feel obligated. We will still love you.

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  7. Girl, you talk about or DON'T talk about anything you want to. We'll be here even when you have no strength to lend others.

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  8. Well: I think you can do whatever you want-- but the blog can be a great way to express yourself or talk about something that is lighter to help you as well.
    It is YOUR choice and I'm not judging!!

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  9. I've been really worried about you lately... you'll continue to be in my thoughts... and you know I am here if you need to talk. We "turtles" can relate to each other :)

    hugs

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