Tuesday, July 17, 2012

If I Could Lose Weight As.....

....easily as I lose pregnancies then I would have seen my goal weight months ago.  Sorry if that is morbid humor but that's about all I've got right now.  

That's right. I am sure some of you had your suspicions so I am coming clean on all my gloom lately.  

My last post (Thursday) had me pretty sure that my 7.5wk pregnancy was coming to an end -- for those of you who are new followers or didn't get the memo, this would be my 2nd pregnancy/2nd miscarriage in 6 mos both ending at approx 7.5wks.  

I have spent the past 2 weeks swinging back and forth between feeling super hopeful and positive to feeling total despair and doom and everything in between.  

As if life could not suck any worse ---  I got a call at 7am this morning informing me that my 92 yr old Nana passed away in the wee hours of this morning.  ( My 1st miscarriage in January coincided with the death of my Granddad.  It makes me just a wee bit suspicious that perhaps my toxic uterus is an instrument of death and destruction??) 

My Nana when she was about my age.   She was a total stunner! 

This whole saga has many more details and I have tons of emotions to express but, quite frankly, everything is swirling around my head in a blur and I am tapped out of emotional energy to sort it all.  Maybe once this gets a little smaller in my rear view I will be able to sort out my thoughts and get it all out.











17 comments:

  1. Oh AJ!!! I am so, so sorry! Praying for you and your family!

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  2. So sorry to hear about both traumatic, life changing events. Wish I could throw my arms around you and squeeze tight. Hugs.

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  3. So sorry about your losses. You really have been through hell and back. I am sending you strength and peace.

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  4. I'm so damn sorry to read this, AJ. I wish I had words of comfort for you, but I fear nothing I say would be good enough in your time of mourning. We love you.

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  5. A.J., there is nothing we can say to make you feel better. Just know, that you are not alone in this. I had a miscarriage at 4 months on a Mother's Day. So, I know the feelings you are feeling. ((((HUGS))))

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  6. So sorry for both of your losses. There are very few words that can give you comfort you need now. I hope you find someway to ease your heartache. I am not going to say I understand your pain of misscarriage, but I do understand your thoughts. My grandmother passed when I was 2 months pregnant with my daughter and 6 yrs later 2 months pregnant with my son when my other grandmother passed. While it was a time of saddeness I felt my children had angels watching over them. My heart goes out to you.

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  7. I'm sorry babe...please please try to remember there IS a plan and the Universe knows what it is doing. Never give up hope. I'm thinking of you.

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  8. I am so sorry for your losses...babies & nana. Heartbreaking really...I was there myself. I will send lots of baby dust your way.

    I ended up seeing a reproductive endocrinologist and he helped me figure out how to STAY pregnant. Hugs

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  9. So sorry for your losses x

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  10. I'm so sorry to hear about this.

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  11. Love you AJ - I am so sorry for your losses..... I am here for ya if you need someone to talk... hugs and luvs

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  12. ((hugs)) So sorry about our losses. :(

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  13. So many hugs from CO. I saw your comment on my blog...hang in there. And don't give up. We will both get there eventually.

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