Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Tight & Crazy

The Crazy

First off, just FYI, I am not preggo just shitballs crazy.  I am frustrated, disappointed, impatient, and stepping back from the baby thing.  I have GOT to find a way to let go of all this lingering anger, bitterness, and rage simmering in me.  By no means are we trying to prevent pregnancy - but I am stepping away from the fertility tracker, basal temp thermometer, ovulation pee strips, fancy lubes, and spooge cups (yes, I just said spooge!!! *snicker*).  It really is getting to be too much.

The Tight

In other news, I am too tight.  The .25ccs I got in March are too much.  I gave it time to settle but it hasn't.  Of course, I thought early on that I just needed to get reacquainted with the bandster rules, but I am realizing that bandster rules or no bandster rules --  I am too effin' tight. There are a couple of reasons I am convinced of this.
  • I have PB'd at least once a week since my fill.  (not cool)
  • I can only manage liquids before lunch.  
  • Any amount of legit solid food makes me uncomfortable.
  • I have gotten stuck on soups, meaning I ate soup and got stuck as well as it's almost all I can eat comfortably.  
  • I haven't lost any significant weight.
  • I haven't lost weight because I am favoring sliders/liquids because trying to eat solids is a hassle. 
  • I would punch someone in the face for a grilled chicken breast right now.  
  • The deep down churny heartburn feeling hasn't gone away (that kinda freaks me out). 

Sooooo, I have an appt for an unfill on Friday.  I am going back to my last fill level 7.75ccs which was apparently my green zone (let's hope it still is!!).  The slider diet is taking it's toll on me --  I zero energy. Zero energy = zero will to exercise.  

Once I do get my unfill and my post-unfill diet days are over I am gonna eat meat every meal for a week --nothing but meat!!!


3 comments:

  1. I think a break from the obsessing is a good idea. Sometimes too much focus is just a bad thing. I hope the unfill leads to better eating...man cannot live off liquids alone. ((HUGS))

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  2. good decision girl, def sounds like you're a little tight!

    I am so OCD, I regularly have to give myself "step back" mental checks otherwise I drive myself flippin nuts. What am I talking about I ALWAYS drive myself nuts. LOL ;)

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  3. Well done you for taking time to see if the fill was right and being brave rather than afraid of having an unfill. You're doing what's right for you - and same goes for the pregnancy attempts - just keep trying but don't get too stressed about it, baby making is meant to be fun! x

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