As for me, my concerns and suspicions were right. My whole "Food/ Exercise-tracking-hey-wait-a minute-this-kinda-feels-like-a-diet" plan was a one-way, non-stop ticket to Crazytown (not nearly as fun as Funkytown) despite my best efforts to enact some "Anti-Crazy" precautions.
Although it did not result in me sobbing uncontrollably on the kitchen floor, it was close enough.
It did result in me terrorizing The Hubs by constantly discussing my food consumption each day, I mean, I don't know if we talked about anything else for 10 days and if we did, I prolly managed to bring it around to my calorie count somehow. (Honestly, I think there is not much else that can test the Hub's love for me like when I am "on a diet")
I spent countless hours on MFP just mulling over my calorie intake. Am I eating enough? Am I eating too much? How legit are my exercise calorie counts because 3 different calorie burn calculators gave 3 different numbers?
I also started being ruled by the number on the scale. I would be lying if I said that the scale isn't capable of coloring how I looked at the day but for some reason it really, really influenced my moods lately.
As for my whole 600 mins of Cardio/week thing? Uhmmm, naw. Not because it wasn't TOTALLY doable for me, hell, I am pretty sure I was doing more Zumba than that when I was in Nash-vegas. But between my crappy Zumba options locally and the fact that I effin' hate the treadmill (I'll do it but I won't like it!), my exercise regimen was starting to feel like a punishment. I like exercise, I like the way it makes me feel and look, but the minute it starts feeling like I have to for the sole purpose of losing the pounds I dig in my heels and start rebelling.
Tonight is the first time I have worked out that I haven't had to pull a "Cameron" to get myself out of the house. Like this:
So you ask yourself, what's a little crazy when you are losing some pounds?? Well, all this crazy is a slippery slope. While I definitely didn't have a diagnosable eating disorder before the Band -- I definitely had my fair share of disordered eating. When I decided to get my Band it was as much for my mental health as my physical health. The fact that I don't wake up/go to bed/spend every 3rd minute of the day hating myself because of weight and food means that I have a mega shit ton of emotional energy to devote to The Hubs, The Hound, friends and family. So getting caught in the vicious cycle kinda craps on that.
So I am going back to the old way -- 1) Make the obvious best food choice 2) Listen to what my Band is telling me 3) Zumba (and maybe even treadmill -- sometimes) my till my face melts off 4) Drink an obscene amount of water.
That is what has gotten me to 90+ lbs lost which is something -- it's what works for me.
I figured out how I want to live my life and what I want my relationship with food to be and if that means hanging out right where I am at -- then that is okay.
I can love and like me right where the scale is at right now. I can be strong and healthy at the weight I am at now. I gotta choose quality food and regular exercise because I want to give good things to the body I now love and appreciate. Don't get me wrong -- I will gladly take lower numbers on the scale but if they don't come -- I can enjoy the view from here plenty.