Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Wednesday with a Bullet

Here it is in bullet points:

* I have a fill appt.  on Friday.  They are making me see the Nutritionist also which means that the only appt I could get was at the same time as Zumba guru Maggie's Friday class.  So not only do have sit and let the Nutritionist talk to me like I am a 3 yr old for no reason, but I don't get to melt my face off with the best Zumba ever.

*I really don't like their Nutritionist bc she talks down to me every time I see her.  I just wanna say -  "Um, yeah, I am 2 yrs post op and -95lbs -- I think I have figured out the difference between a protein, carb, and fat."

* I have been in a hormone fueled blame/shame spiral of epic proportions.  I haven't wallowed in this much self-hate and loathing since before my band.

* Just how epic has your spiral been? Laying in my bed, in the dark, eating ice cream stuffed with cookies while drifting between crying and sleeping --  My awesomeness doesn't quit!!!  HA!!  

* I am overwhelmed with profound feelings of isolation and loneliness.

* Now that I just admitted to being the conductor on The Crazy Train --- who wants to be my roomie for BOOBs??  Anyone, anyone??

* ^^^ That is about the scariest thing I have done in a while.

* I have no shoes.  I purged a lot of shoes before I moved and now I have, like, 3 pair of shoes. On most days this isn't a problem bc I wear my runners most of the time but I can no longer deny my lack of footwear.  I am going shoe shopping -- it will either make me feel better or I will cry my way through that too.

* I really just wanna do this:

Thursday, February 23, 2012

10 Things Thursday -The Fill Querstion (Feedback Needed)

(Yes, it's spelled "Querstion." I went to college in Memphis and that is how the folks say it there -- at some point it stuck with me.)

Courtesy of Laura Belle 

My 10 Things are gonna be all the thoughts I have about whether or not to get another fill. 

1) I am coming up on 1 year since my last fill so I'm trying to decide whether or not I wanna/needa get a fill.

2) It has also been almost a year since I saw my Band FNP.  Their office uses fluoro - part of me at least wants a fluoro to "check under the hood" to reassure myself that all is well and where it should be.

3) For the majority of this year I have been in the "sweet spot" with tightness/looseness coming and going from time to time but generally, I could always put my finger on why.

4) I have lost approx 45-50 lbs since my last fill but lately it has been very slow and while I know it's not all about my band it's still slow.

5) While I know I just posted this, I will say that I would still prefer to put a little more distance between and the 200 lb mark.  My January experience (which made me VERY loose) showed me that it is possible to put on 9 lbs in 3 weeks.

6) I just feel like I can eat more lately and get hungrier more -- actually ever since January.

7) But what if a fill gets me way too tight??  I don't like the fill/unfill/fill/unfill cycle because I worry that constantly manipulating the Band can lead to problems.  (Just my opinion and thoughts - I have no medical basis for this.) I have only ever had one unfill and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth since the FNP (not the same one I see now) ended up taking out 1.25ccs instead of the .25ccs I requested.  That is what ultimately started my first really major plateau.

8) I will be clear to re-start my quest to get preggo-nated in April and that is just another reason I want some more poundage gone.  Obviously, just because I begin the quest in April doesn't me everything will come together in April so I really don't want to sit around for goodness knows how long not losing anything or barely losing anything.  Besides I can always get an unfill if necessary when/if I get knocked up.

9) There two LapBand Urban Legends that I have heard/read/concocted in my own brain, those are: 1) As you lose more and more weight, it is possible to not feel as restricted as you did at the higher weight.  2) Over long periods of time, say, a year, it is possible for the fluid in the Band to shift or even seep out at a super microscopic level ultimately influencing restriction.  Now, what I wanna know is -- are these things legit or are they just products of my over active imagination???

10) I can't really think of a ten thing but I am VERY interested in hearing others thoughts especially those of you who are longer term bandsters (2+ yrs) although if you newbies have gotten good info from your providers I am game to hear that too.  Are there things I am not considering?  Do you have personal experience with this??

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Plan?? We Don't Need No Stinking Plan

Okay, well, maybe you do and that's okay, rock your plan.

As for me, my concerns and suspicions were right.  My whole "Food/ Exercise-tracking-hey-wait-a minute-this-kinda-feels-like-a-diet" plan was a one-way, non-stop ticket to Crazytown (not nearly as fun as Funkytown) despite my best efforts to enact some "Anti-Crazy" precautions. 

Although it did not result in me sobbing uncontrollably on the kitchen floor, it was close enough. 

It did result in me terrorizing The Hubs by constantly discussing my food consumption each day, I mean, I don't know if we talked about anything else for 10 days and if we did, I prolly managed to bring it around to my calorie count somehow.  (Honestly, I think there is not much else that can test the Hub's love for me like when I am "on a diet") 

I spent countless hours on MFP just mulling over my calorie intake.  Am I eating enough? Am I eating too much?  How legit are my exercise calorie counts because 3 different calorie burn calculators gave 3 different numbers?  

I also started being ruled by the number on the scale.  I would be lying if I said that the scale isn't capable of coloring how I looked at the day but for some reason it really, really influenced my moods lately.  

As for my whole 600 mins of Cardio/week thing?  Uhmmm, naw.  Not because it wasn't TOTALLY doable for me, hell, I am pretty sure I was doing more Zumba than that when I was in Nash-vegas.  But between my crappy Zumba options locally and the fact that I effin' hate the treadmill (I'll do it but I won't like it!), my exercise regimen was starting to feel like a punishment.  I like exercise, I like the way it makes me feel and look, but the minute it starts feeling like I have to for the sole purpose of losing the pounds I dig in my heels and start rebelling.  

Tonight is the first time I have worked out that I haven't had to pull  a "Cameron" to get myself out of the house. Like this:

So you ask yourself, what's a little crazy when you are losing some pounds??  Well, all this crazy is a slippery slope.  While I definitely didn't have a diagnosable eating disorder before the Band -- I definitely had my fair share of disordered eating.  When I decided to get my Band it was as much for my mental health as my physical health.  The fact that I don't wake up/go to bed/spend every 3rd minute of the day hating myself because of weight and food means that I have a mega shit ton of emotional energy to devote to The Hubs, The Hound, friends and family.  So getting caught in the vicious cycle kinda craps on that.  

So I am going back to the old way --  1) Make the obvious best food choice 2) Listen to what my Band is telling me 3) Zumba (and maybe even treadmill -- sometimes) my till my face melts off 4) Drink an obscene amount of water.  

That is what has gotten me to 90+ lbs lost which is something -- it's what works for me.  

I figured out how I want to live my life and what I want my relationship with food to be and if that means hanging out right where I am at -- then that is okay.  

I can love and like me right where the scale is at right now.  I can be strong and healthy at the weight I am at now.  I gotta choose quality food and regular exercise because I want to give good things to the body I now love and appreciate.  Don't get me wrong -- I will gladly take lower numbers on the scale but if they don't come -- I can enjoy the view from here plenty.  

Monday, February 20, 2012

Make a List Monday

Courtesy of Robyn
List your top 10 Books/Authors

As general rule, I don't read.  When I say, "I don't read", I mean I don't sit down with a book or my iPad and physically read words.  Reading has a TREMENDOUSLY calming/relaxing effect on me, as in I am incapable of reading more than about 3 pages without falling asleep.  This makes it pretty difficult to keep up with a plot.  I am also not the kind of person who can sit down with a book and "let the world fall away." Even if I could plow through a good book without zonking out, I would never be able to ignore the dishes in the sink or the laundry in the hallway long enough to let me enjoy it.  I do, however, really enjoy book and being moderately well read.  

So what is a sleep prone, Type A, multi-tasking crazy person like me to do??  Audiobooks.  I love audiobooks. They are the best of both worlds for me.  I get to enjoy books while still being able to get my day to day chores/tasks completed.  In fact, I am even more productive when I listen to audiobooks since I have, on more than one occasion, been so into one of my audiobooks that I actually looked for something to do around the house just so I can keep listening to my audiobook.  

I have acquired my audiobooks in a bunch of different ways.  I used to check them out from the library and the restaurant chain Crac*ker Bar*rel has pretty okay rental program, but the digital age has vastly increased my access to good audiobooks.  Until a little while ago I used an online audiobook rental service that worked a lot like Netflix.  I recently abandoned them for a new online service that provides streaming audiobooks straight to my computer, iPad, and iPhone.  

I tend lean toward crime/legal/mystery fiction.  I also gravitate toward series novels, I just really enjoy getting into the long term development of a character.  

1) Michael Connelly - The Harry Bosch series.  If you haven't ever read these, I highly encourage you to start from the beginning.  Harry Bosch is an awesome character that has developed a great deal over time.
This was the first book of his I ever read.
I still thank my Modern Crime Lit professor everytime I read one of Connelly's books.
2) Michael Connelly - The Micky Haller series. As the Bosch series starts to come to a close (I think), Connelly is shifting his focus to Haller. Still a great character.

3) Brad Thor-  The Scott Harvath series.  Also, The Athena Project. Counterterrorism, espionage, black ops.  Love it!!

4) Vince Flynn-  The Mitch Rapp series.  Also in the counterterrorism. black ops vein.

5) Robert Crais- The Elvis Cole/Joe Pike series. Crime/detective fiction.

6) Janet Evanovich- Stephanie Plum series. I haven't seen the new movie, mainly because I have hot/cold feelings on Katherine Heigl as Stephanie Plum.

7) Linda Fairstein- The Alexandra Cooper series.  Legal/crime fiction.

8) Kathy Reichs- The Temperance Brennan series.  These are the novels that spawned the TV show "Bones" but that is where the connection ends.  The only commonality is that both are centered on a forensic anthropologist named Tempe Brennan.  The supporting characters in the books and show are totally different.  Even the character of Tempe Brennan is totally different in the books and the show.  I really enjoy both individually.

9) James Patterson- Alex Cross, Women's Murder Club, Michael Bennett.  Patterson is my brain candy.  He churns out, like, 40 books a year largely because he utilizes co-authors.  The stories are pretty good. They are definitely in the "easy read" column.

10) Random Chick Lit - Jennifer Weiner, Sophie Kinsella, Lauren Weisberger.
I like the modern, funny, chick lit.  It has to funny, bouncy and light.  Basically it has to romantic comedy in written form.  I don't do overly flowery, dramatic romance.  The first time the author seriously uses the terms "quivering loins" and/or "turgid member" I am done, tag me out.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

10 Things Thursday - I am a Zumba Bizzatch Edition

10 Things Thursday
Courtesy of Laura Belle

1.  I almost didn't go to Zumba today since I layed awake till 4am because The Hubs was out of town on bidness.  I am glad that I did because I would have felt like doody mentally and physically if I hadn't.  And because I skipped my cardio yesterday as a result of being very sore (not in the good way, in the 'I'm cruisin' for an injury' way) and my tendency to hermit at the house when Hubs is out of town.

2. The Zumba classes I'm attending now are basically run by this one chick who is the local High Priestess of Zumba. Actually, I think she is more like The Godfather of Zumba. The chick who stands next to me in my class said, "She has attitude like she birthed Zumba her damn self!!" and I don't disagree with this assessment.

3. I bought a 10 class pre-paid card for $45 which means my classes cost me $4.50/ class. Ideally, I would be taking 4 classes/week so this means I am buying at least 2 cards a month. $90 dollars/ month for 4 days a week of Zumba.  In Nashville, I paid $65 for my city wide YMCA membership and got to take 10 Zumba classes a month plus gym/locker/pool access.  This makes me cranky.

4. #3 makes me cranky bc this Chick thinks that this Zumba class is her own personal variety show.  She spends the first 10 mins of class running her mouth, stops in the middle of songs (I mean stops the music and all) to bitch everyone out about the quality/intensity of their moves,  she is CONSTANTLY doing the 'disco call' aka "Woo, woo!!", she will stop the music and pitch a fit if she is not adequately "Woo woo'd!!" in return, and has to stop and tell a funny (not) story between every song.  So when all is done -- I am getting maybe 30 mins of legit cardio.  

5. So, if she sucks so much why do I still take the class?  Well I haven't used up the aforementioned pre-paid card AND when she actually DOES instruct she is the best person in the area (that's not necessarily a high compliment).

6. She looks like a Redneck Lady Gaga - her hair is so fake blonde it is yellow and she comes to class made up like a drag queen. I shouldn't say that, it's insulting to drag queens and I love drag queens.   Any other given time of the day I wouldn't give a fat crap what she looks like --- I am all about letting your freak flag fly. But in a fitness class/gym setting I want someone who comes looking like they are serious about getting their cardio sweat going -- not getting ready to put on their variety act.

7.  She has tiny, itty bitty, miniature, petite physique.  And while most of her physique is obviously her natural state of being. She is INCREDIBLY focused on 'getting skinny' as the driving force for her classes.  She is constantly talking about burning calories and getting skinny. It smacks of distorted food/body issue stuff when she talks about it.  She makes me think of the SB's that MandaPanda mentioned in her post today.  There is no emphasis on improving health by gaining strength and stamina through cardio --- just gettin' skinny.  This was actually the reason she stopped mid-song to bitch everyone out was because many of the ladies in the class were not doing their "twisty, crunch, ab move" to her satisfaction, in her words "If they didn't do it better, they were never gonna get skinny."

8. There's nothing wrong with wanting to "get skinny" but it seems that she is focused on it in such a way that she encourages movements and habits that seem counter to actual health or fitness.  She over exaggerates some moves in a way that I am convinced is gonna get somebody injured.  Also, I noticed she didn't have a "warm up" routine or a "cool down/stretch" routine.  She informed me this evening that she didn't believe in them bc they don't burn enough calories as full out cardio.  I wanted to ask her "How many calories will I burn if I am laid out on my couch for a week because I seriously strained a muscle???" *note to self: do warm up at home before class and stretch yourself out after*

9.  I have attended almost 5 classes with her so far and until this evening she had not once spoken to me.   However, tonight, out of nowhere she wants to chat me up in a major way after class.  I know her sudden interest has to come from one of 3 things:  1) I stood in her sight line during class and I was working that shit out doing my Nashville instructors more intense version of the routines!!! ( I had to, trying to get 60 mins of cardio benefit out of the 30 mins she actually taught) 2) The 2nd time she stopped the song to fuss at everyone I turned my back to her and did bouncy steps to keep my HR up (That's some passive-aggressive stuff but I was soooo pissed by that point) 3) One of her class pets was standing around when I revealed the other night that I had lost 95lbs and I am pretty sure the pet told her about my weight loss.

10. All of this frustrates me because Zumba used to be my happy place, and I don't like angry Zumba. Angry cardio is for the treadmill - I can get pissed and go run it off there. I am supposed to leave Zumba feeling bouncy and dancy.  I am gonna keep going to see if this was just a fluke. Maybe it was because I didn't get good sleep last night or perhaps because my PMS is getting ramped up -- I am willing to take some of the blame.

My Nashville Zumba goddess guru, Maggie used to tease me about being a Zumba snob but tonight I just feel like a world class Zumba bizzatch.

Mouth Fitness!!!

For reals, y'all!!!  Some of you may or may not know, I love teeth.  In my professional life I am a dental hygienist.  One of the best parts of what I do is torturing defenseless people with sharp, pokey things educating folks about how to improve their oral health. (Actually, I am kinda like a personal trainer - only for teeth and gums.)  So hold on to your sports bras because Imma about to drop some knowledge.

February is a big month in the dental world!! 

Whether your baby is 2 legged or 4 legged, 
here are some videos for how to keep your baby's teeth healthy.

For Kids:  

For Pets: 

Sorry, no activity sheets for the pups and kitties -- if they are like mine, they would just eat them! :)

Now, let's talk about YOUR oral health 
National Dental Hygiene Month is a few months away but there's no time like now to improve your health and that includes your mouth.  

I know, you're like, "Really? It's not enough I have to go to the gym everyday, now I gotta floss everyday too?!?!?!?" 

Fight Gum Disease!!!!
BRUSH AND FLOSS for total oral health!!!  

They are like the Cardio and Weights of oral health.  
Much like Cardio and Weights, by themselves, they are definitely a step in the right direction but it takes the combination of both to get maximum health results.  


Healthy Gums Do Not Bleed

If your gums bleed when your brush or floss that is the one the first signs of early gum disease (aka gingivitis).  It doesn't matter if bleeding is in one area or all over the mouth - healthy gums don't bleed.  

Studies Have Linked Gum Disease and Cardiovascular Disease

Poor oral health contribute to chronic inflammation throughout the body. This chronic inflammation can contribute to or worsen heart disease, clogged arteries, and/or high blood pressure.  

Good Oral Health Can Reduce Your Risk of Type 2 Diabetes

While gum disease doesn't necessarily cause Type 2 Diabetes, it can increase your risk of developing Type 2 Diabetes if you currently possess other risk factors such as obesity, genetics, PCOS, sedentary lifestyle.  

Likewise, if you currently suffer from Type 2 Diabetes, poor oral health and/or gum disease can make it even more difficult to manage the Diabetes, since inflammation related to gum disease can affect how the body reacts to insulin and blood sugar levels.  

The flip side of this is that individuals with Type 2 Diabetes are more susceptible to developing gum disease, which makes good oral hygiene even more essential.  


  1. Wrap the ends of an 18" to 24" section of floss around your middle fingers.
  2. Hold the floss between your thumbs and forefingers. Leave about 1" of floss between your hands.
  3. Gently work the floss between your teeth. Do not 'pop' the floss forcefully. When you reach the gumline, curve into a "C" shape around the tooth, making sure to go below the gumline.
  4. Gently glide the floss up and down several times between each tooth, including your back teeth. Apply pressure against the tooth while flossing. Unwind new floss as needed.
*** If you are new to flossing do not be alarmed if your gums bleed or are sore at first. (It's just like being sore after a new workout!) It will go away with continued daily flossing as the health and condition of your gums improves.  

Monday, February 13, 2012

Make A List Monday

Welcome to Make A List Monday (Courtesy of Robyn).  I will put a category out there and your job is to copy and paste the question to your blog and make a list of up to 10 things that match the category.  The category for Make A List Monday is: 

You are forced to use the 10 items or less line at the grocery store and can only go to the store once a week.  What will be in your cart?

1) Eggs: I love eggs. I truly sympathize with bandsters that say that they can't do eggs anymore -- that makes me sad.  They are such cheap, great, versatile protein.  

2) Greek Yogurt:  I always keep a big tub of this stuff in fridge - it's such a multitasker!! It's like sour cream with a better attitude!!!   If I can get them cheap (with coupons),  I will get the cups because they are pretty handy, but I always make sure I have the tub kind.  

3) Deli Ham: Specifically, Ol' Farmers Ham.  Unfortunately, in my area, it's only sold at the giant mega-retailer that everyone loves to hate.  But it's extra tasty good - the only deli ham that I have found that is like someone actually baked an actual ham and then sliced it.  It's not the compressed, water added stuff.  

4) Coffee: Since I have all but completely given up soda.  Coffee is my non-water drink of choice.  Plus, I have a pretty scorchin' caffeine thing going on and I don't function in the morning without at least 2 of my giant travel mugs full.   
(I got a crap ton of this stuff for super cheap with coupons a few months ago. Now it's one of my faves)

5) Cheese: One of the best parts of my having a lapband is that I have allowed myself to enjoy cheese again.  Pre-band, cheese was one of the first things to go when I was "on a diet". Of course this was because it would generally take multiple servings to cover whatever mound of food I was slathering it with.  Now that I am able to enjoy foods in moderation, cheese is back on the menu.  It may be generic yellow shredded for my morning eggs or an a-mah-zing stinky Stilton- I am always buying cheese.   I usually pair it with fruit, some of my fave combos include: Brie w/ dried cranberries or Stilton w/ green apples.  

6) Heavy Cream:  One of the things that I noticed after mine and Hubs' surgery was that we threw out A LOT of milk.  Since we weren't eating buckets of cereal - the milk wasn't getting used so it would spoil.  I finally realized that Heavy Cream was basically like concentrated milk and it stays good in the fridge for waaaaay longer than regular milk so it became our go to for milk needs.  Whenever I make something that requires milk I just thin it out with water.  

7) Chopped Broccoli: I love broccoli, especially florets but those aren't always band friendly.  So chopped it is --  watch out I will try to put it in almost anything. 
8) Lipton Cup-a-Soup Cream of Chicken:  I cannot tell you how much I love this stuff.  It's major flaw is that it is kind of a sodium bomb, but it's creamy and rich and tasty.  It has helped to pull me out of many a late night snacky craving.  

9) Lime Juice:  During colder weather I really have to work hard to get my water in, I don't know what it is water just tastes different in cold weather .  I love just about anything lime (by far my favorite citrus) flavored so every morning during the cold weather months I mix up my jug o' water with a few healthy splashes of lime juice and a couple scoops of Splenda.  It does just the trick to knock weird water taste off but still be mostly water.  

10) Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts:   'Cause you just can't beat em.  I pack mine in pairs in freezer bags and squirt in different types of sauces/dressings as marinades into the baggies.  It's the best way that I have found to keep from getting bored with chicken.  

Sunday, February 12, 2012

New Plan Round Up Week #1 2/6-2/12

Here is the breakdown on New Plan Week #1:

Overall, this week was alright, but I am new to working a specific plan so I figure it will take me a minute to get it going.  I did manage to see a new low on Saturday morning 185.8.  That is only 1.8 away from my goal of losing 100lbs by my 2nd Bandiversary in March.

Food:  Good

On the whole, I really think that tracking IS improving my food choices (which is one of the main reasons I am doing it.) Although, I did fall into weekend junk food trap.  I think it is helping me see patterns/habits that I can work on as I go.

Speaking of patterns- I need to work on getting the bulk of my Carbs earlier in the day, preferably pre-workout.  This is tough because I don't like having lots on my tummy when I work out because it can lead to me feeling icky during my workout.  However, I have had to resist the post- workout carb crave which is really bad when I get home from working out at 8pm.

Exercise: Okay

I only did 3 days this week for a total of 260 mins of Cardio.   This definitely needs improvement.  I will say, though, that the workouts I did were definitely intense.  I am working on my running stamina and that is getting better.  I have also realized another valuable aspect of exercise.  I eat better on days I work out.  Case closed end of story.

Other Stuff:  

I have realized this week that my water intake plays a much larger role for me than even I realized.  I don't know if it is tied to sweating my face off when I work out or what.  But if I don't drink my 100+ oz. of water a day the scale will go up. Then if I do drink all my water the water the scale will go down.  So turns out, water is kind of a BFD.

I definitely have plenty to work on this week so here's to getting just a little bit better.

The Brownie That Bit Me

I have been really mindful this week of my eating. Keep the calories under control and keeping the quality pretty good. That is, until last night.  I ended up going on a bit of a sugar bender last night and it all started with this thing

It's called Choco-Flan Cake.  My Hubs' Aunt makes it.  It's totally my kryptonite. We attended a fundraising banquet last night and she had made one of these for the occasion.  The slice I had last night was about this size.  No big deal, right? Wrong.  It woke up some sleeping chocolate monster in my head.  I ended up coming home and whipping up a pan of brownies and homemade whipped cream.  By the time, I ate my fill -- I was almost sick to my stomach.  And I felt physically terrible --- it was like I was brownie drunk.

Of course, I went to bed in my sugar haze and woke up feeling terrible this morning. I felt hungover -- so what do I do? Brownies for breakfast, you say?!?!?  You know me so well. This is where the Universe came together to slow my roll for me.  As I am grabbing the brownie dish from the fridge, it flies from my hand and falls to the tile floor.  The pyrex explodes sending glass and brownie to every corner of my kitchen (and few parts of my living room!).

How's that for getting the message that brownies are not part of a complete breakfast???   By the time  the mess got cleaned up, I didn't want to see another brownie for a while.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Cavort Out With Your Port Out!!!!!

How's about that title??  It basically has little to do with the substance of my post but it came to me a while ago, and some of you may have seen it because I have left it in your comments.   I like it for the Bandster equivalent to "Rock Out With Your C*ck Out" which has always been a bit of  positive, fun, goofy party cry amongst many of my friends. However, it can be a smidge crude and since most of us are ladies and lacking "c*cks" I thought I would clean it up and make it more Bandster centric.  
It's just my way saying "Way to Go, You are Awesome, You Totally Kick Ass, Be Proud of Yourself, etc" all in one tidy statement.  Feel free to use it yourselves ---- I think it's totally gonna be "a thing." HaHa!!!  

Fair warning:  this post could get a little thinky and long. I hope you packed a snack. :) 

So as I mentioned previously I have gotten some of my focus and motivation back.  Most of it is a result of my January stuff .  Per my Lady Business Dr., I have to take a minimum 2 month hiatus from baby making.  So I figured I would take this 2 month period to try to go balls out, full steam on my weight loss like never before.  Mainly because I need something positive and productive to focus on, and since that positive/productive thing cannot be getting baby-fied it might as well be knocking off a few more El-bees.
And here we are. Now, before I get to the specifics of my plan, I wanted to bring up some the things I realized in the process of formulating the new approach.  (Here's where it gets a little thinky)  I kinda realized that I have had 3 major phases in my Band journey.

1) Just the Band :  This phase was good for about 45lbs of mileage for me.  Time wise it lasted about 7 months.  I was active in a day-to-day kinda way.  I wasn't working out but at the time I had 2 jobs that were fairly physically demanding which helped.  At around the 7mos mark I got a fill and was not fully prepared for what real significant restriction would feel like.  I was really afraid of being too tight so I ended up getting a tiny unfill (or so I thought).  This was my last follow-up appointment with my Memphis Doc's office (we moved to Nashville a few weeks later).  The FNP ended up taking out way more than the .25ccs that I requested.  (I loved my surgeon in Memphis but never was a big fan of her FNP who tended to ignore our thoughts/input and do what SHE thought was better.)  We moved a few weeks later. Couple the bad food choices that tend to happen during these kinds of stressful situations with the fact that the FNP had actually removed 1.0+ccs and my weight loss came to complete stop.  (I fully recognize how miraculous it is that I didn't see a major gain!)  By the time the move was straighten out and I stopped beating myself up for not losing any more weight 4 months had gone by.  It took us another 1 1/2 months to get set up with a new Band Doc (love their FNP). Finally, almost 6 mos post unfill, I got my 1.0+ccs back and the scale started moving again.

2) You Gotta Move It If You Wanna Lose It:  After my unfill clusterfornication and resulting "plateau" the scale was moving again but it was seriously creeping at a snails pace.  I watched my 1st bandiversary come and go -- and while I had lost almost 50lbs I was no where near anything I could call a real goal.  I moped and pouted and freaked worrying that I was gonna end up being a story of LapBand failure.  The Hubs finally shook me out of my funk and I realized that I wasn't going to go down without a fight.  I knew that this Band wasn't magic when I got it and I needed to GTF over my pouty self and start getting serious about working out.

I started going to Zumba and I really liked it.  The exercise was physically tough but the hardest part of my new exercise regimen was feeling awkward, self-conscious, and out of place in my gym/classes.  I would go to Zumba and leave wanting to cry almost everyday for the first month or so.  It got better -- I got better at Zumba, made friends with my instructors, and changed to a different gym with more Zumba and less "roided out gym rat" culture.   Within 4 month of starting Zumba I was doing 10-12 classes/week plus going in early to hit the treadmill/elliptical for a couple miles.

Of course that's when we decided to move again and since then I have struggled to find new Zumba classes/exercise that I like.  And of course, then there was January.

3) Hardcore Focused aka This Kinda Feels Like Diet, But We'll See :  Honestly, I didn't think I would ever be willing to enter this phase since one of my biggest motivations for getting a Band was getting away from the whole diet-obsession spiral that did serious damage to my pre-band brain.  I had always been reluctant to track my food because I was afraid it would take me back to some ugly low points in my W*W Points days.  One of my LapBand goals was to not only make a healthier body for myself but make a healthy mind as well.  My approach so far has been make the obvious good food choice (i.e. grilled chicken and veggie is better for me than a Taco Hell Beef Burrito) and listen to what my Band is telling me (i.e. you are satisfied, stop eating lady).

I know that, for many of you guys,  religiously tracking your food intake and exercise has been the ultimate key to your LapBand success. With me,  many things that are done religiously they can end up getting fanatical really quickly and that is what I was afraid of for myself.  I do know, though, that tracking will influence my food choices -- I will be forced to acknowledge everything I eat and REALLY think about it.

On the other hand, here I am with 2 months on my hands that I am not allowed to vigorously pursue my goal of getting preggo-fied so I might as well vigorously pursue my goal of continuing to lose weight.  So I am gonna take a stab at tracking my food and working out like a maniac.  Hopefully, it will be a positive distraction and get me further along in my journey in the meantime.  

Now on to the plan specifics.  Also, note that I have enacted some "Anti-Crazy Clauses" to my plan to prevent the fanatical obsession stuff that I was just telling you about.  

1) Tracking Calorie Intake: ~ 1300 calories/day according to MFP. 

 This is the calorie intake that MFP has given me to lose 2 lbs/ week.  Now, as tracking goes, I like MFP. It's very convenient - I have it on my phone, iPad and laptop and I like that they all sync up so that if I enter something on my phone that when I look at it later on my computer it's already there.  I also really like the bar code scanner -- just scan that joker and it dumps all the nutrition info into my list.

Anti-Crazy Rule #1: Listen and honor the cues my body is giving me.  I want to be aware of my food intake but I am gonna listen to my body and I mean REALLY listen.  If I am hungry (legitimately, physically hungry) then I will eat regardless of what my calorie count is for the day. If I am not hungry I will not eat (even if MFP is gonna fuss at me).  I will not make myself starve or force feed myself for the sake of a number on my iPad.  However, I hope that knowing my calories will (hopefully) steer me toward a quality food choice.  
Anti-Crazy Rule #2:  I will do my best to be as accurate as possible with my calorie counts but I will not cry in the kitchen floor because I cannot pinpoint the exact calories in a food item. (Don't laugh, this is one of those WW Points dark places that I was talking about.)  Rough averages are okay from time to time.  This is about being mindful of your food/nutrition this is not rocket surgery--- scientific precision isn't mandatory. Asteroids will not destroy Earth if I am 20 calories off on when I record the meatloaf I made the other night.   

2) Workout. Workout, like never before.  I have set a goal of a minimum of 600 mins/week of Cardio. (Is this too much?)  I like the idea of Minutes/week because it give me some flexibility but still keep me accountable to a goal.  If I need a day off (you know, if the Sun fails to come out)  I can take it but can make it up elsewhere. Also, if I am having a freakishly energetic day and wanna do a 3 hour workout then I can have a lighter day if need it later.  I don't really feel like I need a lot of Anti-Crazy rules when it comes to exercise.  Exercise has never really churned out the crazy in me like food can and most of the issues (self-consciousness, embarrassment) that I had when I first started working out are gone now.

3) Follow ALL the Band Rules. I mean ALL of them. All the time. No, really for serious.  (Oh, and if I have forgotten one, let me know.)

*Take my Vitamins (I have been pretty good about this)
* Drink My Water - Minimum 100 ounces/day.  (This is pretty easy when I am working out.  It's harder in the winter time.)
This 3L jug is about 100oz. I strive to drink one/day.  I like the size because I just have to drink one - so it doesn't seem like such a big deal. I also pour my water into my fun green sippy cup- which I love.  
* Measure my meals - stick with my 4-6 oz./per meal
* Protein First!!!
*No drinking while eating
*Listen to my signals of fullness

Anti-Crazy Rule #3: I will/can get on the scale everyday as long as I do not let it rule my daily mood and happiness.  If the scale is up - I have to learn to be able to be honest with myself about my recent food and exercise and judge that against other possibilities (i.e water retention, hormones, poop, etc).  I will not talk ugly to myself in my head because my colon won't get with the program.  This is a big rule for me because I have not generally been a consistent 1-2/wk losing kind of person.  I tend to be a "bulk loser" i.e I go days and days without any movement on the scale and then Whoosh!! like 4lbs gone at once.  

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Who Has Two Thumbs And Can't Function If The Sun Isn't Out???

l.-Jan. 2011  r.-Jan. 2012


For the past week or so the weather has been B-E-A-utiful here in West TN - warm and sunny.  Which leads me to believe that I must have a solar panel attached to my ass because I cannot function without sunshine. All last week and weekend I was hippity hoppity and ready to go, go, go.  Today was the first cloudy, blah day in over a week and I was completely incapable of doing anything. Oh and it didn't help that it was shitballs cold outside too. (There was a time when this was my favorite time of year -- about 90 some odd pounds ago.)  There was no amount of coffee that was able to get my motor running.  It took every ounce of my being to get out of the bed and put on non-jammies.  

I couldn't even muster up going to workout - (doesn't help that today is one my Zumba-less days so I would have had to go to the University Fitness center to hit the treadmill/elliptical). This is even more hilarious considering the whole "this is my new, gettin' serious about more weight loss" post that I am writing for tomorrow.  And even though I got plenty of sleep last night, I am prolly getting in the bed soon.   Like I said ----- Hilarious!!! 

Anyway, I have at least been able to avoid the winter carbfest that usually plagues me on days like today.  

Thought I would post the side by side of my new and old Drivers License pics.  I really wish I had saved my pre-band DL.  The crazy thing is the pic on the left was after I had lost almost 50 lbs. The one on the right was taken a couple weeks ago.   I have always carried half my weight in my face ( I get it from my Dad's side - we grow chins like other people grow fingernails).  When I was bigger I was always sooo jealous of the big girls with skinny faces.  

Monday, February 6, 2012

Make A List Monday

Make a list Monday ~ brought to you by Robyn!

This will be the first Make A List Monday edition.  I will put a category out there and your job is to copy and paste the question to your blog and make a list of up to 10 things that match the category. 

The category for Make A List Monday is: Places you would like to visit in the world again or for the first time.  It can be a Country, State, City, Park, place of interest, amusement park, or whatever you are interested in visiting.
Here is my list:

1) Northern Italy --  I spent 4 weeks there in High School and it was awesome.  

2) England -- I am a total anglo-phile and The Hubs wants to attend an Aston Villa match in person.  

3) Las Vegas -- That is where we had our honeymoon and The Hubs is a hardcore poker player who would love to take a shot playing in Vegas.  

4) Texas -- I just like Texas.  

5) New Orleans -- I spent 24 hrs there less than a month before Hurricane Katrina bitchin' about how hot it was and how we would come back in cool weather --- little did we know?? Oh, and I want to eat my weight in raw oysters.  

6) Pacific Northwest -- have you had their wine??  'Nuff said. 

7) Chicago ---  I may get to cross this one off my list in September.  

8) Kings Island Theme Park -- Cincinnati, OH.  I FREAKIN' love theme parks.  A particular low point in my pre-band life was being kicked off of an amusement park ride while on a girls weekend with 5 of my normal sized girlfriends.  It was humiliating and embarrassing and awful.  I can't wait to go back to a park with the knowledge that 
I won't have any issues with fitting on the rides.   

9) Disney World -- I haven't been since I was 12.  Good to know I can schlep around that place for days without feeling like I am gonna die.  

10) The-no-place-in-particular-getting-there-is-half-the-fun-roadtrip:  The Hubs and I have talked many times of renting a convertible, pointing it in a random direction, and just driving. The only rules being that we can't get on the freeway and we half to stop at any/all quirky goofy attractions along the way --- World's Largest Rubber Band Ball here I come!!!!!   

** I have no idea WTF with this white background.  UGH! 

Thursday, February 2, 2012

10 Things Thursday - Focused Frustration Edition

10 Things Thursday Time -- courtesy of Laura

1) First let us talk about the Focus -- I feel I have it back.  My body has "leveled" out from my January "issues"and I am feeling much more like myself.  I also weighed myself this morning and the scale said 191.6 which means I managed to ditch what I gained last month plus a few tenths of a pound.  I am tracking my food/exercise on MFP and even sat down to work out my exercise "schedule." (Hopefully, gonna write a longer post about my food and exercise plan -- but I also realize that I have promised longer posts on many things that I have yet to deliver. :/  )

2) Now for the Frustration part --  So I wrote out my aforementioned exercise schedule. A large portion of it hinged on the Zumba schedule a new gym that just opened up. It is kind of a different type of gym that is centered on pay as you go personal training and group fitness classes.  I went there with a friend at the beginning of January and they were advertising a deal in which $50/month allowed you unlimited group fitness classes.  I was totally about that bc that would let me do 8 Zumba classes a week, even if the classes are pretty uninspired compared to the Zumba in my previous city, like I said I'm getting focused.  So I am all ready to write my $50 check and the receptionist was like "Oh we're not doing that anymore." And I was all like "Whaaaaah?" Apparently the owners either can't do math or don't know shit about running a business but they didn't "run the numbers" when they offered that deal last month and they got totally hosed on it financially.  The classes are $5/class times 8 classes/wk = $40/wk x 4 weeks a month = $160/month. $160 a month to "work" my schedule is a no-go -- for that kinda money I could have a membership at every gym in town.  So now I completely re-work my exercise plan.

I do have access to weight and cardio equipment.  We became athletic supporters (Ha!!!  I love saying that!) at the local college in our town and that gives us unlimited access to their student/faculty fitness center.  However, I really am not jazzed about relying on the machines for my cardio --- I will use them in a pinch or if I have to but before long it will make me cranky.

3) I just ate a piece of Spicy Tuna roll and while it wasn't all that spicy in my mouth, it is currently sitting in my pouch burning it up like the 3rd level of hell.

4) I am drinking my water. My new job title should be CUO, as in Chief Urination Officer. I am peeing like it's my job.  And while I am not posting this whilst sitting on the potty I prolly should be because I have already peed like 4 times  45 times since I started this post.  * Drank a gallon while at Zumba.

5) I am giving a new and different Zumba instructor a try out tonight.  She is one of the more popular and successful instructors in town so I hope that is promising.  While I was Facebook stalking  looking for info about her I stumbled onto her FB profile and realized that she kinda has 'crazy eyes' and is obsessed with Zumba in a way that weirds me out more than just a little bit.  Although, if she can bring a class with anything that resembles intensity --- then she can stare at me with her crazy eyes all she wants.

6) So I was all set to churn this post out before I left for my Zumba class this afternoon however, that plan was thwarted when I found these little buggers going wild in my master bathroom.  I had to drop what I was doing to deal with them before I left for Zumba.

Those black dots?  Are ANTS!!!!
I have no idea why they were in there (not like we were having a picnic or anything).  They just showed up in a matter of minutes. They were not there 30 mins before I took this pic. I know this courtesy of all the peeing.  They were just milling about and giving me the heeby-jeebies like crazy.  Seriously, I was scratching myself like a tweaking meth head just from the sight of them.  

7) Mama is rockin' a serious case of The Tights.  Which is okay and not okay at the same time.  It is okay because I know that it is part and parcel of what I dealt with physically in January.  I fully anticipate that it will level out as I continue to level out.  It is not okay because I am seriously ramping up my workouts this month so I have got to be able to fill the fuel tank.  (Did I mention I did 2 hours of Zumba tonight -- it felt so good to walk away totally physically exhausted from exercise!!)  I am having some difficulty getting my minimum calorie requirement according to MyFitnessPal. (I am going to try harder -- add a protein shake or something -- I don't want my metabolism to slow down.)  This means that MFP bitches at me every time I log my food and exercise.  

8) Speaking of fuel in the tank..... Chick-fil-a was one of the few fast food restaurants that I still go to with any regularity.  But now, they may be the ONLY fast food restaurant I go to.  Have you guys seen the new Grilled Chicken Nuggets?????  They are like little protein wads from heaven.  They come in this little cup and the 6 pc has 110 calories and 25g of protein.  

You may be thinking, big whoop, I just get a grilled chicken sandwich and don't eat the bun.  But really, have you ever tried driving down the road gnawing a whole chicken breast?  I have, it's no fun, and I get weird looks from other drivers.  

Also, they have this new "soup" Chicken Tortilla (basically, white chicken chili). The medium portion has 230 calories, 19g protein, 14g fiber -- and it's really tasty.  

I know, that fast food isn't ideal but we all find ourselves out and about needing some food -- never have I found anything so freakin' bandster friendly than these choices.  

9) Back to my Zumba class tonight -- I did two separate classes. I didn't get to meet Ms. Crazy Eyes bc she was out sick.  However, her subs were good.  The girl who subbed the first class was under the impression that she would be subbing both classes so when the other subs showed up thinking they were subbing the 2nd class it got just teensy bit awkward.  It was VERY clear that they do not care for each other.  Like I said....AWKWARD.

10) Do any of y'all get the "Exercise Poops"?  It seems like anytime I do an extended workout session (60mins +) I inevitably feel the need to poop in a serious way.