|This was our whole group right after midnight. I had already had a couple 4 glasses of wine. You can tell by my belly pooch that I was hella relaxed!! Ha!|
Do You Have The Secret?
Lap Band Gal posted this in which she asked if any of us out here in blogland felt as though we had the "secret" to weight loss? To which I thought in my head "Ummm, hells yeah!!!" The secret for me was ......wait for it....... I cannot do this [i.e. lose a life changing amount of weight] alone. Oh, I have full faith that I can do this but I now realize that I can't do this all by myself.
I often joke that my "Moderator Switch" [you know, the switch in your head that says 'Hey, you can ease up on the cheese fries because believe it or not you are full AND you have had plenty of food today AND this isn't last day cheese fries will exist on this planet.'] is broken and that is why I need the LapBand. I am not sure if it was broken over time after being ignored and abused or if it was faulty when it was installed at the factory but either way the damn thing doesn't work. I felt like the human equivalent to the busted, dirty ass car that's rolling down the freeway making rumbling sounds and blowing black, stinking smoke from the exhaust. That car is running, it's getting from Point A to Point B but it's obvious something is not functioning properly. So I got a LapBand and for the first time, in a long time I don't feel broken. Now I feel like a zippy, shiny sports car that has been freshly tuned up. So, yeah, I do feel like I have the secret.
Can You Keep The Secret??
Well, I can't. Just an FYI - I am terrible at keeping secrets and it pisses me off when people ask me to keep them. And the last secret I want to keep is that of my LapBand. Honestly, I want to tell everyone. But here's the thing... not everyone wants to know the secret.
Right now, I have about 4 people in my life who I feel would benefit from the LapBand. 2 of these 4 people are a married couple who The Hubs and I count as our oldest and best couple friends. They totally used to be our partners in crime -- the 4 of us could pig out and lay around with the best of them. Then The Hubs and I got our LapBands and things have been weird ever since.
This is difficult for me because with every pound I lose I feel the divide between us getting wider and wider. Our lives has changed so dramatically......for the better. I want that for my friends because they deserve it!! We deserve to be active, healthy, and awesome together. I have traded my All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet for a double scoop of Zumba class and I feel amazing for it. I want them to have that too!! However, if were to even
The hardest part is that I know they feel terrible mentally, emotionally, physically. I can see it in the way they carry themselves; I can hear it in their voices when they talk about all the aspects of their lives that disappoint them. These are all subtle clues that that you can only recognize when you have been there. You can only see this when you have felt like crap day in and day out and you can only hear the disappointment when you have felt like a failure at life. I wish, wish, wish that I could magically let them experience how great we get to feel everyday.
The problem is I can't say anything because no matter what I say all they will hear is "We are skinny, cool, and awesome now and you aren't good enough for us unless you get skinny, cool and awesome too!!" They won't believe how much better we feel --- they will swear it's just all that skinny people sugar-free Kool-Aid we drank. But in their minds they don't need LapBands because they "don't need to conform to society's idea of beauty" and they " get around pretty good for someone of their size" and
"they don't eat THAT much it's just ____________ (insert blame free excuse here)". But honestly, I don't know how much longer I can go without saying anything. I don't know how much longer I can go watching them abuse themselves with food and inactivity.
So how do you do it? How do you look your best friends in the face and say "Y'all need an intervention." Or better yet, how do you keep the secret when all you want to do is scream it from the rooftops??