* Speck, Rockband Barbie, Andrea, Gator Girl, Ronnie, VickyD, Dawnya, LapBandGal
But first, take a listen to this little gem, and just try to keep your ass in your seat -- I dare you.
You couldn't do it, could you? Now that errbody got their exercise, let's get wordy.
My word for 2012 is: Refine
refine [rɪˈfaɪn] vb
- to make or become free from impurities; purify
- to improve (upon) by making subtle or fine distinctions
- to make or become free from coarse characteristics; make or become elegant or polished**
** The 3rd definition will be ignored -- I am anything but polished or elegant and I can give up many things but my 'coarse characteristics' are not negotiable.
I am nothing short of stunned and amazed at the improvements I have made in my life in the almost 2 years since I got my band. There are times when I really can't believe it especially considering that this time last year I wondered if I was gonna be a LapBand fail. I had lost around 40 lbs and I was 3 months into a 6 month plateau. I spent a couple months worrying that I was gonna be one of the people who lost a few pounds but never got anywhere near anything that resembled a goal.
I had taken a trip to Crazytown. Fortunately, thanks to The Hubs' refusal to let me wallow, it was only a vacation not a full blown relocation. It took me some time to get my head "right" when it came to my goals.
When I started this journey, I couldn't fathom a world where I weighed less than 140 lbs, (incidentally, this is what I would need to weigh to have a normal BMI). I just told myself that if I could get below 200 lbs, that would be fine. I also told myself that if I could shop in regular stores, that would be fine. I told myself that if I could just exercise a few days a week, that would be fine. This year I managed to meet all these goals this year and it was fine --- for a minute.
Then I started to reconsider what I thought was just fine. The scale didn't stop moving when I hit 199 lbs so I thought "Maybe losing 100 lbs is more doable than I thought?" so I set my sights on the century mark. (BTDubs, I am 5.8lbs away from this goal at this moment.) I didn't fall out when I added my 4th, 5th....8th Zumba class to my weekly workout schedule so I thought, "Maybe I could be all fitness-y and stuff?" so I am getting focused on running.
I will admit I had hoped to have reached the 100 lbs lost goal by the end of this year, but it's okay that I most likely won't [unless I am plagued with the stomach flu between now and Saturday --- Oh please, Lawd, know that I am kidding]. But when I reconsidered where I am with this goal I decided that this most definitely IS fine -- know why? Because I spent November moving/unpacking my new house then December was Christmas Craziness and in the midst of this I managed to lose/keep off 8 lbs all while enjoying Christmas tidings without emotional food turmoil.
I still want to see a 100 lb loss and I have a sneaking suspicion that when that goal is met I will reconsider what is fine for me.....again. I can finally wrap my brain around a world with a 140 lb me in it [whether I will choose to pursue that goal remains to be seen, but it no longer seems like some alternate reality universe a la Fringe].
I already feel like I am LapBand success. I am content with my weight loss and my accomplishments. I can be happy here -- but I want to refine. I want to take something that is good and make it just a little bit better. I want to modify habits that are already so much healthier and make them even healthier-er. I want to continue to change small things that add up to an even more purified, fantastic version of something that is already pretty great.
As I move through this year, I want to reconsider what is fine then refine it to its very best.